Therapist: “Why are you lonely?”

Patient: “Well, my grandfather died a year ago, and I miss him.”

Therapist: “Ok. So, you are experiencing loneliness associated with grief. This is a normal thing.”

Patient: “I know, I’m just not sure what I can do about it other than wait it out, and it’s affecting my life in negative ways.”

Therapist: “There are many things you can do. You can reflect on the moments you spent with your grandfather and be thankful for those moments. You can do something to honor your grandfather, something you feel would make him smile, be proud of, which should open, if you think about it, a whole world of possibilities to you. Grief is an ontological modifier, meaning it never goes away, it modifies who you are moving forward, though the feelings of sadness and loneliness will come and go in frequency and potency, which, of course, differ in every case and with every individual, your particular road to recovery is and will remain unique.”

Patient: “Ok. That makes sense.”

Therapist: “When you encounter these feelings from now on, I want you to remember what I’ve said, and I want you to also remember this: the “re” in recovery means repetition. So, recovery literally means something like repeating or the repetition of covering. Recovery requires—and will continue to require—covering over these instances of sadness and loneliness over, and over again. You’ll have to do this for the rest of your life. Your being has been modified by your loss, and your recovery entails encountering that modification every day.”

Patient: “Sounds sort of like Sisyphus.”

Therapist: “Indeed. And there are both healthy ways and unhealthy ways to do this thing called recovery. It’s up to you to choose what you habituate, and how you care for yourself. This is therapy. You are the therapist.”